“Don’t call me Naomi, call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune on me.”
Ruth 1:20-21
Ever felt that way? I sure have.
Naomi had a rich and full life…for a moment.
She had married a wonderful man, had two great sons, and they had given her 2 beautiful daughters-in-law.
She had the “good life.”
But it was quickly taken from her through a series of foolish decisions.
In a mere struggle to continue what they thought were God’s blessings, her family packed up their belongings and traveled back to a place called Moab.
She had hoped that the Lord could bless her here.
But one by one, her husband and 2 sons passed away within a very short period of time.
She had lost hope.
She was old, and felt terrible about never being able to provide for daughters.
To sum it all up, her life was meaningless.
She had nothing to live for.
She could never love another man, or have a true relationship with anyone.
And so she called herself Mara, and the verse noted above explains why.
Can you imagine living in her shoes?
I know someone who has experienced many deaths, her husband, her mother, her father, and 2 of her children.
I’ve seen her pain and it’s difficult to think that the Lord would bring this on one of his children.
I struggle with the “why?” questions and ask it of Him all too often.
Though I have not lost anyone in a tragic accident or have been surprised to learn the death of a loved one, I have lost myself.
In a few short words, a few years back, my husband and I both lost our jobs, all our money, and in turn, we lost our relationship with each other, our 3 children, and the Lord himself.
Our attitudes mirrored that of Naomi’s in the verse above.
God purposefully allowed these events to happen to us, we thought our life was full, but He took it all away from us.
But looking back, and it makes me tear up as I type, He did it all FOR us.
He was there the whole time, guiding our lives down a path into something more beautiful than we ever imagined.
With no money and a few broken hearts, we moved up to Chico, California where our lives were forever changed (now I am crying…God is good!)
With the little money we had, He transformed my greedy heart into a giving heart.
We were on a tight budget but somehow had more money to share with others than ever before.
Our relationships were still rocky but we could see God moving there as well.
For the first time in my life, ever, I felt FULL.
I had found purpose in my life and knew exactly what He made me for.
I could see the place where He brought me from, and had hope for my future, hope for my children.
I can never thank Him enough for bringing us out.
And now once again, He’s taken it from me.
So long Chico…however, I’m not saying goodbye to the heart He blessed me with there.
I am sad, I am lonely…once again searching for that purpose that came to me so easily in Chico.
I know God has a plan for my life, I’ve seen Him reveal it to me, and I will wait for the fill-up to come again.
Naomi was once again filled up, but it wasn’t an easy wait.
I pray that we all can wait for God’s blessings in our lives.
They may not seem like blessings now, but the truth is, it’s there. And, it’s amazing.
I’ve seen it and Naomi saw it.
Please wait on the Lord, He will fill you up!
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